A Sad Breakfast

[The Sad Man]

we see people busy with their breakfast at a diner. the camera moves across the establishment, till it settles on a pair of familiar individuals.

the sad man and jonesy.

"got all the stuff ya need for later?"

"that's the fourth time ya asked me 'bout that. don't worry 'bout me, man. i gonna be acin' this interview," says jonesy as he digs into his mashed potatoes. his mohawked companion looks decidedly skeptical.

"you get the job, and ya can finally work better hours."

"saddie, i gonna go into that interview with both guns blazin', and they gonna have no choice but to hire me. how about you? you got a match tonight."

"yeah. steven hyde. afta what 'appened to him las' thursday, i got no idea why he bein' cleared t'compete so quickly. but ellington wants a match, so i be givin' it to 'im."

"that don't sound hyde is gonna have a nice, comfy night."

"jonesy we be past the warm comfy stage in the locker room. right buncha nutters over there. we got jar jar binks, some pap wit'a feces fetish, couple mooks runnin' on too much coffee, an impersonator, a monk on weed, buncha zombie goth chaps, and a bloke who keeps disappearin' inta thin air. that last bugger worries me, i think he may be workin' fer al qaeda."

jonesy snorts, "git outta here!"

"seriously, man's a freak! i'm mindin' me own business on the john, and he suddenly appears beside me to take a damn leak! if we could do what 'e does, we prob'ly wouldn't have wound up in the mess we were in back then."

"them be the bad days," jonesy replies before wolfing down another spoonful of mashed potato.

"then there be that big mclargehuge guy who raped hyde on the last show. that name be no exag'ration, jonesy. big bugger he be."

"i saw what he did on the telly."

the sad man nods with a "no kidding" look on his face. "ellington fired three wrestlers fer 'not doin' 'nuff', but if ya asks me, i think biggie ate 'em and ellington hadta cover it up. 'e prob'ly woulda eaten steven hyde too if the cameras weren't rollin'"

"and he's the guy you'll be facin' for the universal title."

"that be true. but 'fore i fight big mchungry, i gotta take cares of this steven hyde."

at this point the sad man directly faces the camera.

"steven hyde, lemme be blunt 'bout this. we got a match 'coz you got beaten half t'death by another guy. guess that makes me the reward ya get fer losin'. but me immediate future includes a guaranteed match with the same bloke who nearly broke ya in half."

"here be the deal: lay down fer me, steven hyde, and i'll get revenge for ya on biggie."

"you prob'ly feel insulted by me offer, but think 'bout it. the bloke bloodied you more than a tampon. i think i stand a good chance t'beat biggie, but i got me a better chance of doin' it if ya cooperate and let me save me strength fer the big guy. think about it, stevie. ya do this favor fer me, and i pays ya back by beatin' mclargehuge fer that universal title."

fade to black.