The Sad Champion at the End of the Day

[The Sad Man]

the universal champion exits the locker room, wearing a sad to know, bad to know t-shirt, and his championship belt around his waist. destiny wrestling interviewer dan green is standing by with a camera crew.

"mr. sad man, a few minutes of your time please."

"sure mate. what ya wanna talk 'bout?"

"sad man, tonight you had a brutal match with the former xxxtreme champion, temperedjoker."

"i did, didn't i? the bloke came out swingin', but i took care o'that. ain't nuthin' personal, jokeman. youse were given the wrong man on the wrong night."

"was the match something you asked from mr. ellington?"

"nah mate. mr. ellington just told me i gots me a match. so i went out there, showed everyone why i'm the universal champion, and that was it. bloke may have brought a lotta fire and had a lotta heart and all that, but t'me, an opponent's an opponent. mr. ellington could 'ave me wrestle cp munk and i'd still bust the bugger open."

"sad man, that wasn't all you did today. you attacked da boss during the show, aborting the match he was supposed to have with robert conrey."

"i did, didn't i?"

the sad man could not help but smile at that.

"i reckon the bugger uses his noodle 'nough t'know that somethin' was comin' his way. ya don't need the universal champion t'tell you that. so if he's in need o'some attention, well, he picked the wrong guy t'give 'im what he's needin'."

"da boss is the number one contender to the universal title though, sad man. one can only expect that your attack on him is going to lead to an escalation of hostilities between you and da boss."

the sad man hmphs at this.

"right. why should i be 'aving trouble sleepin' 'coz 'da boss' is wantin' me universal title? why should i give two farts 'bout this bugger? in case anyone's fergotten, mate....



".....this bloke is the number one contender for the universal title."

the champion shakes his head. "yeah. that guy. am i kinda ticked at 'im? yeah. do i wanna wrap a crowbar 'round his bloody head? 'ell yeah. but am i worried? am i scared o'the bugger?"



"am i s'posed t'be scared of a guy like him?"

the interviewer gives an unsure shrug. the champion again hmphs, before directly addressing the camera.

"'ey mr. number one contender, i don't need t'tell ya much 'bout what i plan t'do to ya, since i reckon you be smart 'nough t'know what gonna be happenin' next. but callin' yerself da boss? yer just a runt. and i'm gonna make that point perfectly clear when i get me hands on ya.......again."

the sad man walks off, leaving dan green to close out the interview.

"ladies and gentlemen, that was the universal champion!"

fade out.