Over a Sad Plate of Chips

[The Sad Man]

we are at a dining establishment, busy with the lunchtime crowd. we find the universal champion, the sad man, seated at a table in the corner, having fish and chips with his buddy jonesy. he looks up to find the camera on him.

"oh. 'ello. reckon ya want me latest two bits on da runt eh?"

the camera nods.

"well, ya came at a bad time, since i'm 'aving me lunch right nows. so i'm gonna keep this brief. da runt, i reckon you be thinkin' ya did well goin' toe t'toe with me the other night, but quite frankly i allowed ya to know when i was comin' afta ya. i wanted ya t'know what was gonna be 'appenin' to ya. woulda been easier t'just surprise ya with a nice chair t'the back of yer 'ead, but i wanted ya to know one thing. i want youse t'know that i can and will come at ya anytime, anywhere, and it wouldn't matter if you was prepareds or not."

jonesy nods in agreement.

"i be the universal champion, runt. there be many reasons why i be the universal champion, and you ain't. but there be one reason bigger than the rest on why youse ain't universal champion. show 'im, jonesy."

jonesy stands up and unzips his jacket. we see this printed on his shirt:



"that be right. that is da boss. that is the number one contender fer me universal championship. and you bein' number one contender only means one thing: i get t'beat you again."

the universal champion gives a small smile as the scene fades out.